I thought Berlin was having great weather, but Indiana is doing even better. Which is why I look strange wearing a Carl Zeiss Jena scarf, but I'm not taking it off until I'M SWEATING.
The most wonderful thing about coming home is that I don't know who missed me most, Ava or my Mama. So it's Easter today, and today is the first day that I can say the jet lag is saying its last goodbye. America feels strange this time, and I have to say that I feel out of place. Like I left a hole leaving, and coming back I had to fill the same hole even though I'm not the same shape anymore. It's a strange sensation; one that makes me feel like I can't settle into a place of my own.
Side note: the people who I was trying to shield from the news now know, so I might as well come out with it. I'm trying to get accepted into a school to start a PhD research degree in the UK. I sent in applications through February and March, but I haven't heard anything back yet.
But it's good to drive again. Good to have access to powder donuts and coco wheats again. Good to be at family gatherings again. Even though things tend to get heated...as they did tonight. The Italian blood was pumping as both sides of the table choose a different person to back while the "kid's table" tried to avoid getting blood spatter on our Easter best. I learned more about my relatives in 20 minutes at that table as I did in the last 20 years of my life. I cannot unhear it.
I am facing a strange transition while dealing with a dying grandpa and simultaneously a separation from someone I love and was lucky enough to spend 2 uninterrupted months with. And now I can't even touch him. I miss him so much, but I'd rather feel this shitty than not feel anything.
Yes, this post was perhaps wet blanket-esq, but rest assured I will rectify this wrong against you in the next one. Thank you for reading, and bla bla things.
The most wonderful thing about coming home is that I don't know who missed me most, Ava or my Mama. So it's Easter today, and today is the first day that I can say the jet lag is saying its last goodbye. America feels strange this time, and I have to say that I feel out of place. Like I left a hole leaving, and coming back I had to fill the same hole even though I'm not the same shape anymore. It's a strange sensation; one that makes me feel like I can't settle into a place of my own.
Side note: the people who I was trying to shield from the news now know, so I might as well come out with it. I'm trying to get accepted into a school to start a PhD research degree in the UK. I sent in applications through February and March, but I haven't heard anything back yet.
But it's good to drive again. Good to have access to powder donuts and coco wheats again. Good to be at family gatherings again. Even though things tend to get heated...as they did tonight. The Italian blood was pumping as both sides of the table choose a different person to back while the "kid's table" tried to avoid getting blood spatter on our Easter best. I learned more about my relatives in 20 minutes at that table as I did in the last 20 years of my life. I cannot unhear it.
I am facing a strange transition while dealing with a dying grandpa and simultaneously a separation from someone I love and was lucky enough to spend 2 uninterrupted months with. And now I can't even touch him. I miss him so much, but I'd rather feel this shitty than not feel anything.
Yes, this post was perhaps wet blanket-esq, but rest assured I will rectify this wrong against you in the next one. Thank you for reading, and bla bla things.