I have had the pleasure of enjoying loose tea, I mean not in a tea bag. This super handsome Asian guy got me an awesome mini tea set for Christmas, and I find that I'm not addicted to the caffeine, but the feeling of being oh so comfy and cozy.
I've needed that lately because it seems like all my family does is fight with each other. Liv, Amelia and I seem to manage to keep the peace for the most part, but it seems that keeping track of the gossip in this family is so difficult that I should be getting paid for the full time job it is. The worst part is that it's not just people accidentally making dumb ass choices (what are ass choices?). I'm having to watch specific family members tear down those who deserve better, and worse, let it happen to themselves. I have learned much about love--those who love well and those who do not. Good love gives, sacrifices, and wishes the best for the loved one. Bad love can be simplified into one word: selfishness. Love can turn people into ugly sons of guns and biotches, and I have to ignore it or else I'll freak out and snap and say hurtful things to those people who can't be trusted to love.
Things are moving slowly with my PhD, but that's ok for now because I'm getting less time than I hoped to do research. I'm worried that perhaps my idea isn't structured correctly and I have to abandon it. That would be fine if I felt like I had the time to make 50 more drafts changing my proposed research. But being away from Cornelius is 10x harder than I thought it would be. With the things I have and haven't mentioned, I feel so isolated. I'm trying so hard all the time, but I hardly see any progress. I turn to him to share good things and bad, but it feels like we're often out of sync. We don't catch up to each other, therefore feeling like we're influencing each other is a struggle sometimes. I don't want it to sound like I'm changing my mind. I am still so madly in love and feel like I never have nor could I ever find someone who makes me as happy as Cornelius does. Things are just so sucky at the moment. That sentence is so accurate, yet can't convey how worn out I feel. I've never felt so stretched.
Lastly, grandpa passed away last night. I'll attach two links below. The first is of an interview a family friend, Elizabeth Grider did with Grandpa, and the second is an article about his life. Check it out if you feel so inclined.
http://wikimarion.org/Elmer_Estle
http://wikimarion.org/Gene_Estle
I'm sad that he's gone. The deepest sorrows are phrases and activities that I'll never hear him say or do with him again. He was an incredible man, and the most amazing grandpa I could have ever hoped for. Even about going to school in England, he supported me even though I knew he wanted me to stay. One of those people how knows how to love well. It was time for him to go. I have more peace now knowing he's finally resting.
Wrapping up words ok bye.
I've needed that lately because it seems like all my family does is fight with each other. Liv, Amelia and I seem to manage to keep the peace for the most part, but it seems that keeping track of the gossip in this family is so difficult that I should be getting paid for the full time job it is. The worst part is that it's not just people accidentally making dumb ass choices (what are ass choices?). I'm having to watch specific family members tear down those who deserve better, and worse, let it happen to themselves. I have learned much about love--those who love well and those who do not. Good love gives, sacrifices, and wishes the best for the loved one. Bad love can be simplified into one word: selfishness. Love can turn people into ugly sons of guns and biotches, and I have to ignore it or else I'll freak out and snap and say hurtful things to those people who can't be trusted to love.
Things are moving slowly with my PhD, but that's ok for now because I'm getting less time than I hoped to do research. I'm worried that perhaps my idea isn't structured correctly and I have to abandon it. That would be fine if I felt like I had the time to make 50 more drafts changing my proposed research. But being away from Cornelius is 10x harder than I thought it would be. With the things I have and haven't mentioned, I feel so isolated. I'm trying so hard all the time, but I hardly see any progress. I turn to him to share good things and bad, but it feels like we're often out of sync. We don't catch up to each other, therefore feeling like we're influencing each other is a struggle sometimes. I don't want it to sound like I'm changing my mind. I am still so madly in love and feel like I never have nor could I ever find someone who makes me as happy as Cornelius does. Things are just so sucky at the moment. That sentence is so accurate, yet can't convey how worn out I feel. I've never felt so stretched.
Lastly, grandpa passed away last night. I'll attach two links below. The first is of an interview a family friend, Elizabeth Grider did with Grandpa, and the second is an article about his life. Check it out if you feel so inclined.
http://wikimarion.org/Elmer_Estle
http://wikimarion.org/Gene_Estle
I'm sad that he's gone. The deepest sorrows are phrases and activities that I'll never hear him say or do with him again. He was an incredible man, and the most amazing grandpa I could have ever hoped for. Even about going to school in England, he supported me even though I knew he wanted me to stay. One of those people how knows how to love well. It was time for him to go. I have more peace now knowing he's finally resting.
Wrapping up words ok bye.